Pastor Adeboye’s checklist of must have for marriageable women is not accident, many people see the clergy as the mouthpiece of God. There is a reason for that. Nigeria is obsessed with material wealth, the man has enough of it. Nigerians are obsessed with title, the man is called their Daddy. Nigerians are traditions crazed, the man is a typical Yoruba man thinking ‘it’s okay she has good education and all, but still must shrink herself with all she has accomplished so men around could feel better, if religion is not enough to justify the crooked views, drag tradition to it. So he must the right.
Hear him here:
To the girls: Marry a guy with a job. That is all there is to a man – a job.
To the girls: As usual, my sisters are meant to be all.
- Must be able to pray one hour straight
- Can’t be lazy, because she might not be able to cope when she has children.
- Must be able to cook
Here I am surprised he didn’t mention bedroom duty, I suppose that’s a given, that shouldn’t be too hard anyway, I’d be too tired to say no to any advances, and if am asleep, he could just find his way easily. Great to be a Nigerian girl!
And the man of God has a tape for sale, my people will rush to buy his tape, they’d memorised all the messages because the man of God has spoken. But they will forget about their day-to-day realities.
As it’s always the case, most people in his congregation are women.
I just can’t be bothered with the likes of Pastor Adeboye and their twisted views of what women must be anymore, at least not as much as in the past because I read better books now, one of which is dear Maya Angelou, may she continue to rest in peace.
“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou.
A few months ago on a Saturday morning, I asked my girls’ father if they had taken packed lunch with them to the gymnastics. He said yes and proceeded to explain what he had packed. Ayé is our little girl, if she’s given an option to ask for what she would like for lunch, often she asks for something that is more than a simple sandwich. On this day, the 8year old asks her dad to make ẹ̀bà (product of cassava) and he did. Having ẹ̀bà as packed lunch is a bit tricky as one needs two separate bowls for stew and eba. Aye loves ẹ̀bà and beef stew with okro, and that is exactly what her father prepared for her.
And no, the father didn’t just start cooking that day, just so happened that eba for packed lunch was a new addition.
Actually, when I met Yeye’s father about sixteen years ago. Shortly after we met, he invited me over for dinner, his gift that evening was pounded yam and beef vegetable stew, he made an effort to show how much he could learn to prepare our local dish. It was meant to be pounded yam, but truthfully it was more like yam pottage, I appreciated the effort and ate the meal. I am not a picky eater, as long as I recognise the ingredients I am fine.
Needless to say, we now have two girls together. Now he cooks, cleans, change the girls nappies (when they were little), oh, he has a job, had enough education and sense that it takes more than ‘a job’ to be a father.
Not our tradition? Well, daily I am ditching any tradition that sees me as a mere piece of meat, and an ‘option’.
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
― Maya Angelou
Ha, this is one of the reasons why it will be extremely hard for any woman in Nigeria especially in the south to be in any meaningful public leadership position because we are meant to keep shrinking ourselves in the presence of our male counterparts to keep their ego intact.
As for Mrs GrammarPolice wanting to be our president? Forget it, unless she changed her strategy. We need women that is ready to provoke thoughts, you can not be an ideal Nigeria woman and go very far, we all know that.
All Pastor Adeboyes in Nigeria will change their views if our women change the way they spend their time. Take on new hobbies not church/mosque related, pay attention to the life here on earth, self-improvement ones that add values to yourself, our girls do not deserve to listen to this crap in this age where they see fathers all around the world pulling their weight.
Learn to drive that family car you help pay for, stop depending on ‘daddy’ or driver to control all your moves, if you have time for endless religious meetings, you sure have time to learn – this one goes to my sister.
Shut them all up with actions.