The best gift in life is a second chance, goes the saying. I am grateful that I am blessed to be granted a second chance to bond with my father. He is a great dad, but along the line something happened and we fell out.
I was still a ‘good’ girl as society expected me to be, never looked him in the eye as tradition dictates but deep inside I could never understand why he was so depressed. I was aware of what happened in the family but the burden of understanding adults’ complicated lives was too much for any child.
If there’s anything I have learnt from growing up, it is that children grieve just the same way as adults especially when there is tragedy – death or divorce in the family.
In my parents’ case, it was death of my brothers, he was just too sad to accept what had happened. Men don’t cry so my dad mourned secretly. And in the process forgot that he was still a father to 5 girls.
My father had a great wife who always covers his back. We were not allowed to say anything disrespectful about my father in front of my mother, I suppose she understood my father much more than I did.
I have had a better relationship with my dad the last 10 years than I ever did growing up. He is a lot more open and eager to share any stories that he thinks its beneficial to his children today.
Thinking back, what a great lost it would have been if we didn’t have a second chance to properly heal together as a family.
My sister once said I had no shame with some of the personal stories that I share, my response was that maybe this is not about me anymore, I and the family are in good place today.
Maybe a story such as this could benefit the little girl who was sad to see her parents fighting. From her note, the father probably didn’t realise how his actions is affecting the little girl.
Not all families are perfect, but adults have the power to sort help or control their emotions much more than children could.
I do hope that somehow the parents of this girl see this note and change their way.
My girls, their dad and a dozen or so other families from their school had a great day at a local park playing the game of rounders, what a better way to celebrate when the weather was kind to us.
Happy Father’s Day to all good fathers.