Severe trauma silenced victim

Reading the story of Rebecca reminds me of Maya Angelou (may her soul rest in peace).

Rebecca is a four-year old girl who was sexually abused by her own father in the same house she shared with her parents and siblings.

In Maya Angelou’s first memoir I know why the Caged Bird Sings, (or perhaps one of  the susequent ones) she shared the story of how she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend at 8 years old. Freeman, the rapist was jailed for one day but was murdered in the community shortly after his release. This whole experience led Dr Angelou to refused to talk for about 5 years because she had internalised the murder to be her fault, that if she hadn’t told on Freeman, he would not have been murdered.

Thankfully, Dr Angelou eventually regained her voice so much so that millions around the world have benefitted from it today.

I sensed Rebecca is probably experiencing similar PTSD as Maya Angelou did, and had decided to keep quiet as she probably blamed herself for father’s arrest and all the drama that follows.

Rebecca’s mother was concerned about the girl’s muteness and the fact that she has not been performing well at the nursery, sadly no one is thinking about the psychological effect of the whole ordeal on the girl.

“…Rebecca has not been talking until she did twice just two months ago. And since then, she has stopped again. She just doesn’t talk and she urinates frequently.” – Rebecca’s mother.

Rebecca’s story is particularly disturbing because the mother caught her husband in the act. They had a big fight because she spoke out against what he did, this resulted in Folake moving out of the house.

Why would a grown woman returned to live with a husband with sick fetish about his own daughter? Folake explains that the reason she returned was because she found out she was pregnant with twins so she felt it is the right thing to go back and raise the family together with Ademola especially when she thought he has changed.

I understand how everyone would encourage Folake to return to raise family with husband but what I don’t get is why she concealed husband secret of molesting his daughter.

Now the sick father repeated what he had done again to the same poor young soul in the middle of the night and the mother caught him again, this time he could not hit the wife, he went back to bed. It seems Folake had had enough by reporting Ademola to the police.

Not too surprising that Ademola has been released from police cell, very likely to strike again, this time with the twin girls – a father molesting his own baby child won’t change overnight, not especially when they all live one room.

I do hope that someone is sensible enough to realise Rebecca’s muteness is due to all that she has experienced. She clearly need plenty of understanding adults and fresh air away from molesting father.

Categories: Nigeria

Tags: ,

9 replies

  1. This story brought to my eyes, reading this, I feel like I’ve just been stabbed. Folake has made a grave mistake because she’s basically providing him with free babies to molest. Oh God! What I dont understand is, why isn’t he in JAIL in the first place?!??

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry Ameena, didn’t mean to get you upset.

      Rape story has become so common in Nigeria that people are numb to it now. Like you, I found Rebecca’s story upsetting as she can’t even run away given her age, too young.

      Why is he not in jail? Because our police are something else, all most of them cared for is bail money, Ademola has the cash so bailed self out.

      Agreed on your point of Folake’s mistake.


  2. The unfortunate thing is that these men are seldom cured or change their behaviour. She returned to her husband because he probably told her he had changed. We try to live with hope. With twins on the way it couldn’t have been easy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think the mother need some help too as it seems she is confused of her own responsibility as the mother. Her twins are already here, 19 months old now living with the same molester of a father.

      Agreed, it would not be easy looking after these children by herself, however in this situation where the father already showed his true colour, living with someone like him in a one room could not hav been in the best interest of the children.

      Liked by 2 people

      • We have women’s shelters here for women and their children when they find themselves in a difficult situation. One of my daughters actually made use of one of these facilities and it saved her and our granddaughter’s life. They help them with shetler, food and counselling. The facility gets some support from the government and also bennefits from charitable donations.When women have a safe viable alternative they will more likely make the right choice.

        Liked by 1 person

        • That’s an excellent point “When women have a safe viable alternative they will more likely make the right choice.”

          Usually in a case like this, family is the one to run to as Nigeria do not have a well-defined social welfare system.
          This time around the mother ran to the church but her husband went to the church to take the children away from her.



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