So where do we draw the line? Why going into any form of relationship with anyone if one can not act responsibly if things didn’t work out as envisaged? And why do women always have to be the one being told to be super careful about just anything imaginable?
Few days ago in Uganda, a Nigerian guy who could not accept defeat with grace over his cheating Ugandan girlfriend decided to post the lady’s nude photos on the web. The Ugandan lady, Desire Luzinda is a local celebrity so the news went viral and everyone (well, many guys like Franklin) tripped over the internet to get a glimpse of the star’s nude pictures.
Here is what was left unsaid, the Naija guy who did this is incredibly insecure hence he was carrying naked pictures/video clips of a lover around to begin with. Maybe he knew this would happen anyways since Desire is a celebrity, so busy stocking up on ‘weapons’ to taint his girl rather than enjoying the moment.
There were lots of interwoven stories that lead to the leaked pictures that I am not in the least interested in however, none of the excuses in my opinion justifies Franklin’s actions as it only furthers shows his insecure he is and he is not presenting Nigerian men in positive lights. Sometimes relationship breaks down, it’s called life.
The only person who needed pity is the crying baby Franklin whose ego is tied to his ability to ‘own’ his lady. The joke is on him as what one does behind the closed door is meant to remain there – it’s called intimacy for a reason.
This episode reminds me of demeaning language that our men used in public when talking about their ladies. They will proudly say “I slept with her” as if the coitus (to borrow Sheldon Cooper’s word) involves only one person. Yoruba is especially cruel, they’d say “Mo do” I am sure Franklin would have equivalent in his local language that further assures him that he is the only priority in the relationship.
Not long ago, a friend proudly told me when talking about another friend that “I slept with her” so I politely asked to describe what he meant as I have never really understood the phrase. Now, if you ‘slept’ with someone without acknowledging their involvement in the ‘act’ then, that is called rape. So if both adults mutually wanted it, then maybe the best phrase to use should be more like “We had sex.”
Anyways, by the time my friend finished narrating all the gory details of him sleeping with his friend, many of the specifics too raw for my innocent ears, I endured them all as I was keen. It was very easy to see who had sex between my friend and the lady, but the lady being an African woman was smart to lead him on and my friend blindly bought it as that was all that he needed for his super ego to survive. Needless to say, he wasn’t too impressed with my verdict.
Shame Franklin thought all that an African lady needed is a man who showers them with fancy gifts and busy taking nude photos in the bedroom – better luck next time Mr Ebenhron.
Glad to say that I got to know about Desire story through a Nigerian guy friend who felt utterly disgusted by Franklin Ebenhron’s attitude – Not all Nigerian guys are insecure after all.