African women and pleasure

I have always wondered what African women history were regarding sexual pleasure. In Yorubaland, mothers don’t talk to their girls about sex let alone the pleasure of it. And for some reason known to mothers, they want their daughters to get married and have a happily ever after type of marriage.

On my quest for knowledge, I came across an eye-opening video online about a year ago, it featured a group of older ladies from Uganda talking about labia elongation. Really? Why? Here is what I found.

In Uganda, when a child turns 13 and perhaps after her first period would be called to have the ‘talk’ about labia pulling and how to go about making sure she does it everyday for about 10 minutes – that’s a serious dedication, I think. The part of the labia being pulled is the minora – the inner layer, this is done religiously and overtime it can stretch up to 3 times or more of the original size. Local herbs is used as lubricant to ease the friction.

The person who does the pulling varies, sometimes it could be the a close friend of one’s own mother or a grandmother and sometimes a friend/school mates. A close friend who is Ugandan and went to a boarding school confirms that when she was at school, parents actively informed the school that they’d like their children participate in ‘pulling session,’ this is to make sure they continue with the routine while away from home.

I read a few online articles whereby Ugandan women fervently defended the age-long tradition as something they were really proud of and did not want WHO to mistaken it for yet another FGM.

Why is this practice? Muganda, the major ethnic group in Uganda believed active sexual life in relationships will prevent infidelity and it is important to them that both couples have fun during coitus. And in fact the women loved to make pleasure noises as a way to communicate their satisfaction to their partners.

The  belief was that long minora when clasps around penis provides soft but firm grasp – both feel the touch and the gentle friction will heighten the desire for each other. Also, as the man pulls away during withdrawal, last-minute pleasure is experienced as the elongated minora gently peels off the penis.

The practice of labia elongation is not limited to Uganda alone, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Rwanda, Burundi all do it. What do we do in Nigeria? I wish to know, seriously.

Like many other African cultures, labia elongation is being faced out because of the procedures involved. Getting other girls pulling one’s private part isn’t especially appealing these days because of increasing awareness of possible dangers such as HIV/AIDS,   Christianity has influenced many parents out of the tradition and because elongation is best done when young and children were too young to voice an opinion – rather like child abuse.

Seems people tend to agree on the benefits of having elongated labia but most disagree on the procedure. Also, speaking to a male friend who lives in Uganda, he thinks that the length of the labia varies considerably that sometimes some pulls out a little longer than others.

I wonder if there is a way of having a standard length to aim for and of course better ways of doing it to exclude children. It will be such a shame to let go of a tradition built to keep family happy together – happy couples = happy family.

It is exciting to know that African women do have a practice that celebrate sexuality and the of pleasure of it. I have heard too much of the other side.

Please do share if you know of any African women related story.



Categories: Africa, Education, Family, Nigeria, Women

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

81 replies

  1. That is very common in African continent. I was asked what i like when i was about to marry and i said either and learnt that my wife did not under go the pulling but we still enjoy our Time more Than those who did the pulling. From Malawi

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  2. My wife has long labia. They are beautiful. Sometimes they shorten and I ask her to continue stretching. She’s amazing and frankly I don’t think anything about a woman’s body can equate to the sight of long labia. That just makes a true African woman, a goddess.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a man I have experienced sex with a girl with elongated labia. I have to admit it felt strange at first when i felt her lips round my penis however I really got excited afterwards as I was looking forward to some serious pounding however she asked me to go in and out slowly or else its over I obeyed however due to the slow motion I got bored and ejaculated within minutes. That was my first and last time of having sex with a girl who had large labia. However I still lookout for the same girl when am out and about as I feel I had unfinished business down between her legs looking back I feel I need to go for a rematch to me that day I would have gone for hours inside her however she must have known what i was up to. I miss that pussy so much, I actually bump into her a few years afterwards however she took one look at me and decided she would probably bleed down below if I had my way cos when I went into her flat I could not get her labia out of my head and she could sense it because she kept trying to talk about work etc I nearly begged her because in my head I have unfinished business but she was not having it. I can still feel her wet labia round my penis as I was about to tuck my arms under her thighs so I can spread her legs wide getting ready for some hard pounding she just grad my head and looked into my eyes and said slowly in and out or its over boy I miss that pussy

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  4. While I’m happy to hear that Ugandans talk about and proactively encourage the sexual pleasure of both parties, I find it personally very weird and frankly unacceptable another person touching that part of me for whatever reason. To each their own I guess.

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    Liked by 1 person

  5. Im Namibian n i heard this labia elongation for th first time this week so i had to check it up n stumbld on this site, wow, things that Africans cn gt up to. My labia is already abit long n smtyms uncomfortable i ws thnkin of gtn it shortened oneday, nw iv changed my mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Still processing this information…quite fascinating and interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hello Folake,

    This is a very interesting and well-written article.

    African society has a one-sided bias when it comes to gender and sexuality. Different rules apply to women and men. The fear of judgement puts pressure on women to give the impression of prudishness.

    It’s nice to know that Ugandans celebrate women’s sexuality rather than suppress it which has become the norm.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Interesting topic. Am from Malawi and have been advised to elongate since i was 11, but was never serious about it. Now am 24 and it turns out my boyfriend really likes them. Its a serious issue in some tribes.A married woman can be sent back to her parents house if she doesn’t have elongated labia. The truth is, a woman with elongated labia pleasures her husband more than one who doesn’t.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Matina, thanks for stopping by. Interesting. I suppose the downside of this practice is the fact that it started from early age when children can’t really put their foot down. I think more girls given enlightenment probably would opt out given the process is intrusive and I assume can be painful.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hi, This is an interesting topic. I am Bahamian/Nigerian in my early 30’s . Growing up in the Bahamas mothers often start teaching their girls about sex around age 16. I was taught that it is of great significance to my marriage for me to have an aesthetically pleasing and tight vagina. Mothers tell their daughters It is not normal or sexy for a girl to have elongated labia, large clitoris, vulva, bad odour etc. so I was greatly cautioned not to masturbate or do anything that could cause my vagina to look protruded or disfigured in any way. Instead I was taught how to control and manipulate my internal vaginal muscles with special flexes during sex to heighten sexual pleasure especially for the man. This action causes the vagina to cleave to the man penis and cause extreme sexual pleasure. When a woman know how to do these vaginal flexes she can massage, pump. grind , even lock her man’s penis without using her hands. Believe me, when a woman can do this I guarantee ,
        you will not be the only one moaning in pleasure.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Fascinating Nicole! It is interesting how in many culture the idea of teaching girl child about sex is centred around pleasing the man but really what you described here benefits (in my view) the woman the most as she is actively participating in the process.

          I found the idea of elongated labia interesting too given many women born naturally with it had corrective surgery (especially in the west) I suppose that is for aesthetic purpose.

          Thank you for the comment.

          Liked by 1 person

  9. Fola, this one is mind muggling oh! No wonder a cousin of mine went to kampala and never came back to marry a girl from his own land 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I am a Ugandan, a lady with pulled labia keeps your manhood well locked in there during coitus, overly pulled labia enables that a lady easily squirts and hope you know the fun that comes with a woman splashing her waters on you. Nothing beats a lady with pulled labia.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I am a Nigerian just arriving in Uganda. I am completely overwhelmed by this topic when I read it in one of the Ugandan Dailies and I decided to learn more about in the internet. I have never had of this practice, and just as Folakemi has rightly said, in Yorubaland, South Western part of Nigeria where I came from, Women will not discuss about sex with their daughters let alone assisting her in labia elongation. Apart from Christianity and modernization, discussing sexual related topics with children is absurd in Yoruba tradition, culture and custom.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha, thanks for the comment CrownHonor.

      I have a Naija friend based in Kampala who fills me in on this topic, in a way makes one curious about what our ancestors practice were, maybe one day someone will enlighten us.

      By the way, enjoy Uganda.

      Like

  12. Am ugandan, ohh, u spilled the beans indeed!! It’s a tradition that may be sadly phasing out, but guess what, the few that did it, are hot cake and the men do look for them.If a man finds out the difference, he will always look for that pleasure, and nothing will stop him, not even church marriage. That’s why the walk in sengas, haha, funny. ..are making a fortune because married women are paying thru their noses to have these “twins”, vulgar for the two lips, lol.so…yes, it’s dying but something is being done by the sengas, after the married women, and men outcry.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m ugandan.Labia elongation is pleasurable for the woman as well. When aroused, the ‘lips’ swell up and this is pleasurable for both partners. It is up to a couple to communicate and decide whether to embark on this journey or not. We should not be quick to disregard tradition because it is tradition. Rather, let us examine the pros versus the cons. FGM is a con all the way for the woman. However, if a woman is looking to try new things to enhance her sex life. She should not be scolded for it. I think children should be given a choice so that when they are older and understand, they can choose to embark on the elongation journey or not. There are grown women in Uganda who having not elongated their labia at a young age are choosing to do so at an older age. Granted the flesh is a bit tougher as one ages, but there are herbs readily available to ease the process and the benefits do show in marriages and relationships. Again, I believe women should have a choice and they should talk it over with their partners. It’s difficult to talk to parents about stopping this for children. It’s like piercing a child’s ears before they are old enough to decide or not. They may like it later or they may not, but parents may argue they heal faster than when it is done later. The same attitude applies to labia elongation in Uganda. A mother may feel she is doing her child a favor. But then again, labia elongation is very popular in Uganda. It’s rare to meet men who prefer a sequel experience with a woman who has not elongated her labia if they have experienced sex with a woman who has elongated her labia. I wish a man who has experienced these two phenomena could explain to us the difference and why it is so alluring for the men. I am a woman and I know for a fact that the experience is very arousing.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you for your input, very much appreciated.

      Completely agree that this should not be done on children, non medical bodily alterations should be done when one is old enough to make such decision.

      Also, agree that we should not be too quick to discard all traditions given not all of them were bad – suppose we only learn by exchanging notes.

      Yes, wouldn’t it be nice if have men who have been both ways share their views? My Nigerian friend who used to live in Uganda and had tried both ways thought it was a ‘different good’ experience.

      Like

    • I am not Ugandan, I am American. I was born in America and my parents never did this to me or nor did I do it to myself. I have an elongated labia and I wander where it came from, if I was born with it or not. Like if something triggered it. I also wonder why I have never felt ANY sensations. It hurts . It itches and it pulls on everything I wear. Periods are especially hard for me to get through. Are there was to live with it more comfortably other than cosmetic surgery .

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I am a medical student, was once found with fellow African friends. Elongation of Labia don’t really mean anything. sensation is found on the clitoris not labia Minora. Pulling Sensory receptors around your clitoris will only ruin your sexual appetite. By the way other men hate very long Labia.If Our creator wanted us to have long Labia we would have been growing with them. Haven’t you noticed that a baby girl already has a normal size, or you think they don’t have labia unless its long? or you will want to elongate them too because you think they should be longer than that? if they are for cosmetic purposes then well and good.

    For further questions or clarification,follow my email.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Tina.

      I suppose the reason for this post was to get African women to talk about this subject that is of a taboo, the old practices and how and why they’re abolished and perhaps others could open up and share their knowledge.

      How do we learn a tradition is good/bad if we kept it under wrap? Today what many women know on the continent is the western ways mostly because it is out there in the open for all to read.

      What are you talking about, babies? Did you even read the post? Being a student is fantastic, isn’t it? New information to digest and knowledge to pass on.

      All the best with your studies.

      Liked by 1 person

    • AFRICAN Traditions are for AFRICANS! Here in AFRICA we know why do do it that way. TINA if you’re not an AFRICAN or you are but you just don’t get the point perhaps because you don’t belong to “the class”, we know our selves to the fullest.
      If you are not AFRICAN or you’re but not of this tradition, you don’t even have to bother your self! That’s why we don’t buy and even don’t bother to talk about homosexuality period!
      In other parts of the world females patch and tag their inbetweenlegs ‘lips’, some chops off but for us we pull the TWIN TOWERS.
      I DIDN’T realize paramount TWIN TOWERS ARE until when my Husband discovered for me my own treasures as he made mention the following;
      1) My honey comb is always warm and loves it
      2) He always feels like am still a virgin
      Now this is what I love about my own TWIN TOWERS :
      3) I easily reach orgasm
      4) I always get satisfied even if he doesn’t go extra miles.
      5) AFRICAN TRADITIONAL nurse revealed to me that it’s because of having these TWIN TOWERS I have managed to deliver my two children right from my bedroom without seeking help from the so called civilized hospitals.

      Like

    • Shut up Tina. Who are you to tell someone what feels good and what don’t. You will tell us not to participate and then take it for yourself. We really don’t care about your medical student status. Who died and made you an authority for questions and clarification on this topic? Pleeezz

      Liked by 1 person

  15. This also happens in Malawi but its only one percent, this is among certain tribes and not all.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. This does not only happen in the countries mentioned here.I Malawi where I come from it is also practiced but the percentage is very small as compared to 50 years ago. I would say one in every 100 women which translates to 1%. In the southern part among the Lomwes where our state president comes from its for every one especially for the ladies brought up in the village.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. My mind is ‘boggled’ too. I am not sure I like this idea of labia elongation, talking about sex and sex education with your child is one thing, carrying out labia elongation is another. I don’t think it’s a good idea.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I suppose the idea must have come about during sex ed sessions, perhaps when older ladies realised everyone is different.

      Agreed, the fact that this is done to children is uncomfortable.

      Their efforts to educate young women on topic most would shy away from is commendable.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Thoroughly fascinating. I had never heard of this before.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. While African and people of color throw their traditions away, these same people steal and embrace our customs and culture and use them to make their lives better. The womb is magical and we will never know its full power if we only relegate ourselves to either being housewives or whores!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Very true sister!

      It is exciting to learn that despite all that has happened on the continent with education in exchange for religion and all, we still have many cultures albeit few who still embrace the traditions and passing it on to their children. Hopefully, it is adapted so the process is age appropriate.

      Like

  20. Reblogged this on Adejokeiyabadan's Blog and commented:
    Until parents stop being judgemetal of sexually active females and stop believing a sexually active male is mature, we might not get around to enganging our children on sex education.

    Like

  21. Thanks for this post, as it is typical of yoruba mothers to shy away from taking their daughters thru sex education, i would have been ignorant too. but thankfully i attended a girls only boarding ( Saint Annes School Ibadan) where we were lucky to have teachers who dedicated themselves to sex ed. classes during our weekly extra~curicular activities on the school assembly. we had corp members who englithened us more on a one-on-ond basis, all these teachings have been helping those of us who didn’t shy away but rather took the classes serious as oppose to seeing it has moral unjust in our relation with the opposite.
    Another ills of not exposing children (esp girl child) to sex-ed is the view of a lady believing that sex is only to be enjoyed by male folks ~ parents are often judgemental of a sexually active female, than they are to male, it’s believed that it shows maturity in male folks

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s fantastic you had proper lessons on sex-ed. I tell you, mine was disaster, my biology teacher was the most awkward teacher ever, great teacher but can not talk about sex at all, not even breast let alone other ‘unspeakable’ parts the female body.

      I think the perception with most of our mothers, mine especially was that talking about it gives us ‘ideas’ …oh well.

      Even with internet and all, I still strongly believe that girls need that ‘talk’ with their mothers most of all.

      A friend who is from Trinidad says the same thing regarding sex ed and her mother, however, she said her aunty bought her a book that she found really helpful and prompt her to ask the right questions.

      E se.

      Liked by 2 people

  22. m married I would love my wife to lengthen her labia is it possible I love long labia

    Liked by 1 person

    • Uhmm, oyoko. I think this is more about women wanting this rather than for men imposing on them.

      I guess, you would need to get your wife to love the idea first and as we are in information age, help is at hand at Uganda walk in ssenga offices.

      Good luck with that, please get back to share your experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Trust me she has no problem with it in fact to her she dint know that”s something that can be done she thought if you were not born with long large labia then that”s it.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Interesting. What I found most intriguing here is the openness to conversations about sex that the concept provides to women of all ages where this is practiced as it allows honest talk where girls from early age learn to appreciate their own body parts without needless associated shame or thought that it belonged to men.

          Elongation of labia itself sounds controversial given it’s done on children, but I guess adults make their own decision and can do as pleased so good luck to your wife on her journey.

          Like

  23. Thanks, Folakemi, and thanks to others, especially Kay of Uganda, for added insight. I’m truly amazed that this kind of prep for girls go on in Africa. The approach may be strange and appear tough, it needs be mentioned it is in the right direction because I’ve also read of African societies where the women are trained to “respond” by being PASSIVE!

    Thanks for sharing this.
    TOLA.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the read.

      If I may, do we have a system similar to this in Yorubaland or any other region within Nigeria or around the continent that is this positive to help young ladies ease into womanhood? I’d rbe grateful if you could share this.

      Many thanks.

      Like

  24. Fascinating. It is nice to hear that sex is explained and taught for pleasure of both parties rather than being discouraged and considered a sinful act. We have so much to learn or unlearn.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have heard that lots of emphasis is placed on women been taught how to satisfy their men, including cleaning him up after the ‘act’ but I guess along the way young women do learn about self-pleasure too.

      Liked by 1 person

      • So much about sex in the West especially if you look at the way it is portrayed in Hollywood films (bad example, I know!) depicts the man enjoying sex and the woman as the object. It less often appears as a mutually satisfying act of love for both parties. It perpetuates the inequality of men and women. These are poor examples but they are visible accessible examples and ones that we see over and over again. Sex is not talked about so openly in the home. It is still taboo or shameful.

        Like

  25. ehm.. thanks for this enlightenment.
    I wondered why this Zimbabwe lady in church was peacefully and unashamedly giving us sex education. Coming from a home where my mum couldn’t even discuss if I had a boyfriend.

    This Zim lady told us about elongated labia and other bedroom tips.. Now I understand why, being that their culture, they openly discuss this. Knowledge is really free.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cool! Glad to hear that!

      My home is pretty much like yours, my mother is incredible but when it comes to subject of sex, she never initiated it, so to see that some Africa culture are open about it is refreshing.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

  26. He he he thank you for spilling our secrets on the internet LOL.There are some innacuracies in the facts but you have at least got the core reason, ‘pleasure’ and to add ‘lots of stimulation’.I will not tell you anything else because I am a proper Muganda.Btw some herbs take away the pain altogether.Dont let these women near your men LOL

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey, sister! Please spill!!! You know ONE LOVE.

      I do admire the tradition and more so that it has lasted so long despite the pressure from WHO to classify it as yet another FGM.

      Please do tell, I beg! So at least I can correct the inaccuracies 🙂 Imagine how great it will be if Nigeria women adopted this, we will give all the CREDITS to you guys.

      Funny that the first time I heard of the Long Women of Uganda, it was from a guy from Lagos who was desperate so I thought before these Mugandan stole all of our men, I better check what they’re doing differently 🙂 Now I know!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Reblogged this on cameroon360 and commented:
    Just learnt about labia elongation. So many cultures to keep up with in this African country of ours

    Liked by 3 people

  28. Hey, am Ugandan. So once a girl starts her periods, we have the ssenga (aunty) to tell you everything about sex and the labia elongation process, which we “call visiting the bush”. The Ssenga literally teaches one from how to whine their waist, to moaning in bed etc. If one misses out on this, it’s not a problem since most Ugandan kids attend boarding schools for secondary education and I know in most schools we have senior mothers(older female ladies) who will meet with the girls on a scheduled day every week to teach them things about sex, cleanliness etc. Now that times have changed, most girls miss out on their ssengas teaching them and the senior ladies are no longer an in thing in schools. I believe some single girl schools still have them. We also have ssengas offices all over Kampala. You walk in, pay and get educated. They now even have cds that one can buy and get directions from. We also have kkoja(uncle) to help the guys out. There are several youtube audios too for those in the diaspora like us. They are in Luganda though so it won’t be of much help to someone that doesn’t understand it.I hope this throws in more light.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Whao! Thank you! That’s incredible to know that ssenga teaches girls sex education and tips while in the bedroom.

      I suppose sex ed perhaps would not be awkward in schools since girls and boys already have background information from home.

      Walk in ssenga offices? That’s really cool!

      Thank you Kay for stopping by and for educating me more on this.

      Like

      • hahaha…yeah! walk in ssenga offices. Lol! No worries, it was a pleasure reading your blog 🙂 I actually found out recently that there are even Facebook pages. Check this page out when you get a chance “Kojja Ssenga Bedroom Matters”

        Liked by 1 person

  29. Hi im from Zimbabwe and its true our girls are taught this from an early age. A woman without long labia is unapealing and it makes sex fun, i get something to suck on.

    Like

  30. Reblogged this on All about Nigeria and commented:
    Nigerian women need to discuss more on sex and sexuality with their children

    Liked by 1 person

  31. thanks very much aunty Folake for bringing up this topic.This is a topic that need proper discussion especially in Nigeria.Growing up as a Nigerian girl my mother never discussed sex and sexuality with us,infact some people were meant to believe that pregnancy comes from physical contact with a boy.I remember my mom beating me severely at the age of 9 just for standing with a boy,I didn’t quite get it then.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are very right, my mother is just the same way! And given that there is limited to no books to read on the subject, young people are left with making the same errors as people before them. Very frustrating really. We will get there. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. I can’t say that I’m aware of this practice, but I must say that it does begin to explain a great deal to me when I think of how one partner has proven to be more exciting than the other(s). Reading your post does urge me toward finding more information on the practice. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for reading and for the comment. I just heard about this not so long ago too and it tells how much more we need dig to get information about the hidden practices across the continent.

      Like

      • In the last few weeks I have been involved in random conversations that reminded me of something my Mother would often say. She said, in the years to come man (mankind) would become weaker, but wiser. I often saw this statement as an oxymoron of sorts, but I’m beginning to understand her point of view. Technology has distracted us from the things that have been proven to work well. We were once “Hunter-Gatherers” and the invention of the microwave turned the western world into consumers with diminishing health. There are many things we are losing as a society. It only stands to reason that we must protect protect the cultural things or run the risk of losing them to the societal collective.

        Liked by 2 people

        • You are right. However, I think technology has helped us enormously now in terms of getting information around and as you have rightly said we are still weak to certain extent…in my case, I’d love Nigeria to invest heavily in research and development and that is a dream of mine. How can you convince my Presido that resuscitating dead education in the country so every child has opportunity to quality education is by miles better for the society in the long run than sending a thousand students abroad and their high gated mansions? Yes, we know this and yet nothing has changed. Your mother was right – wiser but weaker.

          Liked by 1 person

  33. ” . . . . . ” my mind is boggled!

    Liked by 1 person

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